People discussing shared custody often think of it as a 50/50 arrangement. They imagine that each parent has an equal amount of time with the children. While that may be the goal for any parents preparing for a divorce, it isn’t necessarily what happens if they go to court.
Parents do have the option of setting their own custody arrangements, but they often find it so difficult to reach an agreement that they end up going to court. If a family law judge has to divide parental rights and responsibilities, their main focus is always on what is best for the children. Although they do usually try to keep both parents as actively involved as possible, sometimes they may determine that giving one parent far more time with the children than the other is the best option.
When might judges approve highly uneven custody arrangements?
When one parent has a high-demand job
If one parent is a surgeon, they probably cannot drop everything to pick a child up from school if they get sick during recess. Similarly those who travel for work are not necessarily available instantly to parents as often as their children were quiet. Judges sometimes award far more parenting time to one parent specifically because the other’s career limits their ability to be present for the children.
When one parent is volatile
There are many factors that can diminish someone’s ability to care for their children. Substance abuse is one such issue. Unstable living circumstances, such as a temporary housing situation, also lead a judge to determine that the children may benefit from staying with the other parents most of the time. Issues with domestic violence could also lead a judge to significantly limit one adult’s access to the children.
When there is a history of alienation
There are two ways in which alienation could affect parenting arrangements. Some parents self-alienate. They effectively abandon the family to conduct an affair or to pursue their own desires. They may go for extended periods without seeing their children. Judges may determine in such scenarios that granting them an equal share of parenting time might prove distressing to the children. Counseling and a transitional schedule to rebuild the relationship might help in such scenarios.
Other times, parental alienation is the result of one parent trying to prevent the other from maintaining a healthy bond with the children. In such scenarios, the parent engaging in alienation is the one who may not receive as much parenting time.
Judges usually do their best to offer both parents liberal amounts of parenting time. That way, the children have the best shot at maintaining healthy relationships with both parents. Yet, understanding what factors may lead to unusual child custody arrangements can help parents preparing for court. Barring abnormal circumstances, it is common for both parents to have plenty of parenting time and also a say in their children’s upbringing.
